BONWAG Lists: Dead Useful Things to Say In Latin

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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur
Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound
Esse quam videri
The Cook Family Motto: "To be, rather than to seem"
Aut Pax Aut Belum
The Gunn Family motto (Robinson side): "Either peace or war"

Credit is due to 'Latin for All Occasions', The inspiration (and raw material) which got this list started.

Fiat justitia, ruat coelum
Do the right thing even if the heavens fall
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Never tickle a sleeping dragon - school motto of Hogwarts - of the Harry Potter books.
Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora
eggs today are better than chickens tomorrow
Res ipsa ioquitur
The thing speaks for itself
a fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi
a precipice in front, wolves behind
amantes sunt amentes
lovers are lunatics
aut viam inveniam aut faciam
I will either find a way or make one
cave quid dicis, quando, et cui
beware what you say, when, and to whom
credo quia absurdum est
I believe it because it is unreasonable
de minimis non curat praetor
a praetor does not care about petty matters
exitus acta probat
the end justifies the means
me duce tutus eris
under my leadership you will be safe
Vestis virum facit
Clothes make the man
Sub sole nihil novi est
There's nothing new under the sun
Volo, non valeo
I am willing but unable
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult
Non sum pisces
I am not a fish
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts
Fac ut vivas
Get a life
Vacca foeda
Stupid cow
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear
Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Pistrix! Pistrix!
Shark! Shark!
exercitus ingens urum salutavit. obdormivit urus.
The huge army greeted the buffalo. The buffalo fell asleep.
non commodus est mihi desilire.
It is not convenient for me to jump down.
eheu, ardeo.
Alas, I am burning.
euge! murus sum!
Hooray! I am a wall!
Imperator concidit ut brassica esset.
The Emperor fell down in order to be a cabbage.
tam ingens erat puer ut totam viam obstaret.
The boy was so huge that he blocked the whole street.
Non Erravi Perniciose
I did NOT commit a fatal error!
Si Fractum non sit, noli id reficere
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!
You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me back my money!
Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima?
Do you by any chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?
Perscripto in manubus tabellariorm est
The check is in the mail
Canis meus id comedit
My dog ate it
Hostes alienigeni me abducxerunt. Qui annus est?
I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?
Certe, Toto, senito nos in Kansate non iam adesse
You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
Nil Bastardo Carborundum
Don’t let the bastards grind you down
Carpe carpum
Seize the fish
Explicit leuctotem; da mihi potum
Work's done. Where's the beer?
Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus
Remove foil before microwaving
Dictum ad tua mater
Word to your mother
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum
A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

... and some useful phrases to throw into conversation

...ab asino lanam
...wool from an ass
...absit invidia
...let ill will be absent
...ad vitam aut culpam
...for life or until a misdeed
...albae gallinae filius
...son of a white hen
...amicus humani generis
...friend of the human race
...arte perire sua
...to perish by one's own creation
...asinus asinum fricat
...the ass rubs the ass
...cetera desunt
...the rest are missing
...compos sui
...master of himself
...cum grano salis
...with a grain of salt
...de omni re scibili et quibusdam aliis
... of everything one can know and several other things
...doctus cum libro
... learned with a book
dixi
I have spoken

Here's a necktie which was produced as a joke by/for us journalists covering the WA Inc Royal Commission back in 1991.

"Non Possum Recordari"
Meaning: "I Don't Remember"

It's got a lire bird as the emblem. Geddit? I don't know what the brown stain is, and I'm too afraid to taste it and find out.