June 14, 2005
Gime? What's a Gime?
This is one of those "you won't find time unless you make time" moments: I've signed up at the gym.
It seems I've served out my mid-life crisis at 34, by getting rid of the WRX, getting into a nice, comfy Forrester, starting to eat right(ish) and signing up for a couple of sessions of ritual humiliation per week. That's how it goes, doesn't it?
I've been assigned a Personal Trainer for a few sessions, presumably so I don't make the place look bad by getting horribly mangled in some of the resistance contraptions.
I've never signed myself up for any structured exercise programme, ever. Apart from 10 years of soccer which evaporated in the heat of my misspent youth, and a season of getting my butt whipped around a squash court by a decent slice of Perth's radio talent, I've never thought of getting into physical exercise. I'm blessed with a fairly speedy metabolism which means I can hammer away at computers on my fat arse without actually getting a fat arse.
But then, came Singapore: A couple of years ago, The Photo was taken. I shudder to recall it. It won't be posted here. It was of me. Poolside. Fat.
So why wait until now? I had to wait for a few things to fall into place. The planets seem to have aligned this time, and Fitness First was in the right place at the right time to get my business.
Mark showed me the ropes. Or lack thereof. I love this place; it's full of gadgets! There are treadmills that take your pulse. There are video screens aplenty. The resistance equipment operates on air pressure, so (ironically) you don't have to mess around with weights in order to get some resistance exercise. I'm sure Mark doesn't appreciate what a newbie he's got here.
I'll start my first proper session on Friday. Here's hoping I'll make it to a second session.
Posted by bonwag at 11:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 18, 2005
The Thrill is Gone
There are a few jobs I'd dearly love to do at some point in my life. You know, those occupations you know nothing about, have no training or aptitude for, but would love to have a few days behind the wheel and see what the attraction is. For me, I'd love to own and operate a Theme Park. I have no idea what to do or how to do it, but it just sounds like a fun job.
Some people want to be rock stars. I want to invent rollercoaster rides which make people ill.
Which is probably why I connected with this site, which happened by my screen today. It's a series of very atmospheric photos of an abandoned theme park, somewhere in Japan. I don't know the back-story here, but it seems this park has been out of action for some time. The photographer has captured a quite beautiful irony - a once-mighty thrill ride settling into a rusty retirement.
If anyone knows this park, and whether they'd accept a premise for a new reality TV show - My Rollercoaster Rules - let me know.
(Hang on, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Abandoned Australian Theme Park, anyone?)
Posted by bonwag at 08:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 11, 2005
S.W.A.T.
I just now managed to swat a particularly annoying fly out of the air, mid-flight, with nothing but a screwdriver.
It wasn't on my to-do list, but I'm going to add it now just so I can cross it off. That felt so good.
Posted by bonwag at 12:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 19, 2005
A WReX Too Far
Out of the Land Of The Rings comes this monstrosity. It's a Subaru WRX converted to an 'All Terrain Vehicle' which looks pretty mean. Perhaps the sheep are getting harder to catch over there.
Posted by bonwag at 08:57 AM | TrackBack
March 31, 2005
Great Moments In Signwriting
Someone at the Newcastle Tramway Authority didn't think this one through:
Touching Wires Causes Instant Death
$200 Fine
Thanks to Seth's Blog for this little slice of surreality.
Posted by bonwag at 08:17 PM | Comments (1)
December 28, 2004
Backfilling Complete. Bat On.
Regular readers might have been wondering about the lack of posts recently. Once again, thanks to my loving webhosts who broke the website again. It's been a long time getting fixed, and in that time, I've been traveling a bit, and there's been a few interesting things happen.
Now, the story of 'Dave's Brakeslam tour of the East Coast' is complete, and things seem to be back and working again. I tell you, if these clowns keep fiddling with the site, I might have to do something about it. Seriously.
Posted by bonwag at 01:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 03, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Six - Melbourne
With all the seminars complete, here endeth the adventure. Today, I delivered the final seminar, and had an opportunity to catch up with a client at the Belgian Beer Cafe, on St Kilda Road. The unique thing here is the rigmarole the bartenders go through to clean the glasses for you, in front of you. It's the sort of attention to cleanliness I only adhere to with the WRX. It's all very civilised and lovely sitting outside in some wonderful Melbourne weather.
I highly recommend the practice of 'Lightning Leave', as I've called it - someone's probably made money out of calling it something differently in an executive management book somewhere. Ainslie told me about the concept when kidnapping me earlier this year. It's where you take only a few days out of your schedule to completely divorce from your work routine, rather than try to distance yourselves over a period of weeks. The theory goes that it's easier to 'shut down' when you're only away from work for a few days and are able to recover quickly, than to plan a major getaway which requires weeks of planning and recovery either side, and another week of 'winding down'. The fact that you're 'switching off' almost completely during the time you're away means that you return refreshed and ready to get stuck back in. That's not to say I'm going to do away completely with the weeks-long holiday concept, but getting away from it all for a four day weekend every now and again is something I'll be doing a lot more from here on. It's been a good break.
Back to the tasks at hand.
Posted by bonwag at 01:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 01, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Five - Canberra
This morning's seminar seemed to go well, despite the fact that I ad libbed this bizarre analogy in the seminar about manufacturing toilet paper. I don't know what I was thinking. I think I got the point across, but I think it was - what's that word again? - inelegant.
One of the things i like most of all about Perth is the lack of road tolls. It means I can get away with virtually no cash in the west, but I'm constantly refilling my change drawer over here.
A serendipitous discovery this afternoon - that both houses of Parliament were sitting in Canberra today - a rare confluence of events. I decided to go and check out the building for the first time.
The amount of marble that went into the entry hall may seem extravagant, but it's only because of the way this place so perfectly reflects what Australia is all about. It's not a foreboding, aloof structure, but a masterpiece of design which subtly welcomes you in. It really feels almost like a giant formal loungeroom than a vast center of government (Like the Parliament Houses in the UK and what I'm assuming things are like in Washington). I like it a lot.
The first thing that hit me about the chambers, after watching them on TV for so long, is that the proportions are so different in reality. I'd always imagined a long, narrow chamber, but when you visit the public gallery, looking down from above, it's so short. It's not smaller than I imagined, just a different shape, and taller. Much like Mark Latham.
One of the other things I was impressed by was an exchange which I'll illegally reproduce from Hansard, here:
Ms KING (3.50 p.m.) - Mr Speaker, you would be aware that the President of the Senate yesterday agreed to a request by the Senate to fly the Eureka flag in the foyer of the Senate chamber. Is there any news you might like to share with the House about the flying of the flag in the House of Representatives foyer?The SPEAKER - I thank the member for Ballarat for the question. As she is aware, I have written to her agreeing with the President of the Senate that, together with the Australian flag, the Eureka flag will be flown in the foyer at the entrance to the House of Representatives during daylight hours on 3 December 2004 for the 150th anniversary events of the Eureka Stockade. I am happy to table a copy of that letter.
Mr Latham - Mr Speaker, I thank you for that fine gesture. It is an appropriate thing to do. It is a very significant day in our national history. We on this side of the House commend your generosity, and we hope it is shared by the Prime Minister on Friday.
Ms King - Mr Speaker, I would also like to thank you, and I am sure the people of Ballarat will be very pleased with the decision.
The thing I like about the exchange is not only that the Parliament is willing to do things a little out of the ordinary if the occasion demands, but that the parliamentarians actually take the time to say thanks. It's good manners. Of all things, I didn't think that was something I'd be seeing in Parliament today.
'd be
Posted by bonwag at 05:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 30, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Four - Sydney
Indiana's my first 'real' niece - born to my Sister Sam and her husband Steve in October. She's cute as a button, and seems to understand that her Uncle David is the one with the steady hand. I'm proud to say I've not handed her back to Mum sad today :-).
Posted by bonwag at 05:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 29, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Three - The Entrance
Having made it to Dad's, yesterday, I'm off to Sydney to see Indiana, my new niece.
Last night, I think Dad, Paul (his mate) and myself came perilously close to solving the Middle East crisis, as well as agreeing on some of the more memorable moments of 'Seinfeld'. (Of all the topics I could have imagined Dad and I sharing an interest, the last of those would have been Seinfeld. Its weird what you discover your parents are into after all these years. Mum's into Ricky Martin. Never saw that one coming, either.)
Posted by bonwag at 07:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 28, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Two - Coff's Harbour
I'm starting out from Coff's Harbour two hours late - I'm still trying to understand exactly what timezone I'm in. The sun's getting up much, much earlier than I am.
There's four and a half hours before I need to be In Sydney, and there's 500 kilometers to go. This might be tight. Probably going to have fewer stops today. This Pacific Highway is going to make it tricky - I can't believe the amount of speed changes this stretch of road forces on you. For some reason, the NSW government gives you ample warning of the static speed cameras stationed outside each township, and they're usually 60km/h limits, so it's fun to see the rev heads slam on the brakes and jump on the accelerator every half an hour or so.
The warning signs of schoolies are all around - feet, arms - and more - dangling out of oncoming traffic.
There's just something... well.. wrong about driving through Kempsey (the birthplace of country music legend Slim Dusty) and listening to Top 40 radio at outrageous volume levels.
Something I never really thought about Port Macquarie: "God Lives Here", according to a roadsign. I'm not doubting its veracity, but I'd imagine there's a heck of a lot of pressure to keep your gardens tidy.
Posted by bonwag at 05:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day Two - Hexham
40 degrees outside. I'm going inside for one of the famous Oak milkshakes we used to stop here for many years ago on the way to holidays in Forster. I'm disappointed I missed the turnoff to Forster on the way here. Well, if they're not going to signpost it properly, it might be another 20 years before I get there.
It seems our beloved Oak isn't living here any more. The factory still seems to be here, but the local Hungry Jacks has taken over the franchise, and the famous milkshake menu is relegated to one tiny section of the dining menu. (If you're visiting here, it's tucked away on the top left. You have to squint to see it.)
It's still a brilliant shake, though; exactly as I remember it. I wish I knew the secret.
I'm running about half an hour later than I expected, which isn't bad for an 800K trip.
Posted by bonwag at 12:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 27, 2004
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Northern NSW
There must be a different fundamental outlook on life here in a place where the land is fertile and lush. I think it would be easy to be optimistic about life and the world in a place where things are always growing and life is abundant. In a place like Perth, or even further afield in the goldfields, (with dry, windblown sandhills and pale, brittle plantlife barely clinging to their fragile existence) it would be quite a different worldview.
Posted by bonwag at 12:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Byron Bay
Astonishingly beautiful weather on the easternmost part of Australia - 26 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. This is the sort of weather for taking photographs. I realise halfway through that instead of thinking how this will look on the mantlepiece or in the photo album, that I'm instead thinking of how this will look as a wallpaper on the home computer. Does anyone else think like that?
The houses, especially around the lighthouse on the headland are quite huge and impressive. I think Paul Hogan lives around here somewhere.
The sunroof is open and all the windows are down. I'm getting seriously sunburnt. I have no idea what time it is, because I crossed the border between daylight and non-daylight time. I don't know how long I have to travel today.
Wheee!
Posted by bonwag at 11:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Somewhere
A Roadside Electronic display by the NSW Police Force:
Strike Three: Your Out
We've got illiterate American coppers now?
Posted by bonwag at 09:15 AM | Comments (0)
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Coolangatta
If you look toward Surfer's Paradise from Coolangatta, it looks like something out of Final Fantasy. As your eyes follow the hilly coastline north, the shoreline seems to disappear, and then a gaggle of skyscrapers poke into the sky, seemingly from from beyond the shoreline. It gives it a sort of 'floating city' effect. It's an amazing sight.
One of the good things about not having a travel plan is that you (by definition) constantly surprise yourself. I had parked the car at random and gone for a quick walk, before realising I had stopped less than 100 meters from the border of New South Wales and Queensland. I couldn't have planned it better. I was able to easily walk to a monument which marks the separation of the two states, which is just outside the 'Twin Towns' RSL. ('Twin towns' means Coolangatta turns into Tweed Heads once your cross the border, which is right down the middle of town. Weird. It looks like the RSL is actually in Tweed Heads/NSW, which is very likely a strategic decision.
You'll notice I've done bugger-all research for this report .
I'm only mildly lost, now.
Posted by bonwag at 08:25 AM | Comments (0)
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Surfer's Paradise
Wow. That's great planning, Dave. Hitting Surfer's Paradise just as 'Schoolies' starts. (Schoolies is the annual school leaver's traditional party-fest. WA readers can substitute Rotto, US readers can substitute 'Spring Break'). I might not stay in Surfers as long as I thought. Don't want to get caught up in that kerfuffle.
I made sure to visit sections of the Indy race track which are just normal streets at the moment. (You know how I mentioned feeling sad about going to theme parks without the kids? I'm getting that feeling now: I wish the WRX was here to enjoy this.)
The only way I can describe Surfers is as a Vertical Las Vegas - presumably, that's where it got the nickname Brisvegas. Real tall buildings, lots happening.
I'm getting lost. I wish I had a map, now.
Posted by bonwag at 07:15 AM | Comments (0)
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Staypleton
You know what? I think the dodgy CDs/CD Player is a blessing in disguise. Over a couple of extended trips, I've realised that one great way of cementing a trip is to record a mental soundtrack.
Most people like to remember a trip by taking a lot of photos or video which help them re-call and re-live their adventures in the future. Sometimes, by accident, you might find a unique smell which you can associate with a certain location in the future.
I'm sure I'm not alone in discovering that music, especially pop music, can have the same effect. The song Clocks, for example, will always remind me of a trip to Las Vegas, where it seemed to be on quite high rotation in the sound systems there. "Smooth Criminal", by Alien Ant Farm, will always remind me of September 11, because I remember it being performed a lot while I was in New York, then.
If I had taken all my old CDs, I'd be bringing a lot of home with me, and wouldn't be creating that soundtrack which will help me remember where I was in the future. I'm going to listen to Hit Radio instead and see what I can find. It's been a while. I've already discovered a lot of new music. I've also realised that Judith Lucy can actually be funny when she's bouncing her lines off others. It's a shame she attempts solo stand-up so often.
Breezed past Warner Brothers Movie World, Sea World, Wet and Wild and Dreamworld, which are closer to Brisbane than I thought. They don't open for another hour, and then I'd have to spend a good part of the day there to justify the sixty dollar entry fee. I've learnt from Disneyland and Legoland that you just don't visit kids places without your kids - you feel guilty the whole time. The Matrix exhibit at WBMW almost sucked me in, but I think I'll use the time to explore Surfers' or Coolangatta instead - for free.
Posted by bonwag at 06:00 AM | Comments (0)
Dave's Brakeslam Tour - Day One - Brisbane
This is the first time I've been in Brisbane - properly - and also the first time I've dared to hire a car while travelling on business. Scary stuff.
Yesterday, I completed the first of a series of morning seminars in our Brisbane office (on the topic of Application Development Life Cycle Management) and will be taking the roadshow to Sydney. With the next one not until Wednesday, I thought I'd extend the stay and travel the 1000 kilometers to Sydney over the next few days.
The reason I call this a 'brakeslam' tour is that I have no map, no research, and no idea where I'm going. I only know that I'm due at Dad's place on the NSW Central Coast some time Sunday.
With the sunroof peeled, the Barenaked Ladies loud, and the GABBA in my rear vision mirror, the adventure begins.
I've been given a Nissan Maxima to play with, mainly because I asked for cruise control. Unfortunately, it appears the CD player won't read the majority of the CDs I've burnt especially for the trip. the journey just got a lot longer.
The 'plan' is to travel via Surfers Paradise, and maybe stop off at Coffs Harbour tonight.
Posted by bonwag at 05:19 AM | Comments (0)
November 25, 2004
The Worldwide War Of The War Of The Worlds
I'm not normally one to keep track of the comings and goings of movie makers (apart from the Star Wars movies, of course.) However, there's been a strange confluence of events over the last couple of days which is worth reporting.
Yesterday, I discovered the awful trumour that Tom Hanks is set to play the lead in the movie adaptation of 'The Da Vinci Code'. The movie's never as good as the book.
Over the last week or so, I've been introducing Caleb to one of the greatest music albums of the 20th century - Jeff Wayne's 'The War Of The Worlds'. It's a dark, dark story, but such a brilliant aural canvas for your imagination to run wild with. Caleb's asked if the school library has the book. Sadly, they don't. (I wonder how many pirimary schools stock H.G. Wells?)
I happened across some information that Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise are filming a version of the book right now, for a 2005 release.
It also seems that a British outfit has filmed their version of it as well. We could have the happy occasion of TWO Wars of the World next year. (Or should that be 'War of the Worlds's'?)
On top of all that, Jeff Wayne is also planning an animated version, it seems - presumably based on the music and artwork of the album.
I've got a couple of new sites to keep an eye on, now: www.eveofthewar.com and www.eveofthewar.co.uk.
It's been so long since I've listened to the album - probably a good 20 years. I remember well the dark nights in the back shed, huddled over the record player with the headphones on full bore and the album cover on my lap, getting completely freaked out over and over again. Even after two decades, I realise I still know every word by heart.
That's the sign of a good story.
Posted by bonwag at 01:07 AM | Comments (0)
November 24, 2004
Let's Get Fiscal
I'm really losing my patience with incompetent government departments. First Centerlink decides to mess everyone around with family payments. Now, there's a 40 billion dollar miscalculation by the so-called experts at the ATO.
It wouldn't be so bad if the government afforded the same leniency it's now expecting from us taxpayers, but given their history with the Centerlink debacle, it's not a two-way street. (Yes, we were hit. Bad.)
Try getting away with a $40 miscalculation on your 2003-2004 income tax return; it won't happen, buddy.
Posted by bonwag at 10:27 PM | Comments (1)
November 10, 2004
Nothing Succeeds Like Essex
Interesting snippet of information discovered during a Quiz Night on Friday: some guy called David Cook changed his name to become David Essex and then go on to fame and fortune as a singer and part-time actor.
Why on earth would you change your name from David Cook? What's wrong with you, man?
There must be some sort of cosmic significance to this discovery - I found myself listening to the War Of The Worlds Soundtrack today by accident and, sure enough, David Cook/Essex was there as the Artilleryman. Spooky.
I think, therefore, it's up to me to serve this name well. On behalf of all David Cooks everywhere.
Posted by bonwag at 06:25 PM | Comments (2)
November 05, 2004
Happy 10th Birthday, BONWAG
Good gravy. Has it really been 10 years?
The first web page I ever published was on November 5, 1994: a 'hello world' type page which I chiselled on the servers at Ozemail a few weeks after I got my first access account (around October, 1994). These were the days of the text-based browser (no pretty graphics) and the early days of the Mosaic web browser, so the standards weren't that high for graphic design... it was only important that you helped create the 'Web' by linking to other useful sites and also contributing a little of your own content along the way.
That's where 'Bits Of Net What Are Good' came from. I started by creating a list of links, and then later contributed to the Body Of Knowledge on the Web with the ACM (Australian Christian Music) site, which I started in February 1995 - to help with my job at Sonshine fm.
And haven't things changed since then?
Posted by bonwag at 08:01 AM | Comments (1)
November 02, 2004
We Got Our Bond Back
Posted by bonwag at 08:06 PM | Comments (0)
October 25, 2004
Bizarre Love Triangle
Here's one of the main reasons I'm scared to become a famous artist: what happens if you create something brilliantly heartfelt - a book, a song, whatever - which perfectly describes a stage in your life that you later move on from, only to find that people identify with it and keep bringing you back to it, kicking and screaming? Perhaps you compose a scathing attack on upwardly mobile types only to find yourself owning a mobile phone a few years later (To pick a completely ficticious, made up example).
It's one thing to express an opinion, and later change your mind, its another thing to have it framed, awarded or part of your regular song set. It's something Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam is up-front about on many occasions.
Today, we see one of the most extreme cases - Delta Goodrem is in the middle of promoting her new album 'Out Of The Blue', which includes as the title track a song's she's already publicly dedicated to her beau Mark Philippoussis, only to find he prefers the company of Paris Hilton. What's worse is that the song is currently Number One on the Australian charts.
If it really was the relationship the song describes, then it can only be harder to move on if market forces stand in the way of your grieving process. To keep singing would be tough enough. To be singing that song, now, repeatedly would be gutting. The fact that the song talks about escaping circumstances she's now being thrown back into.... you can only imagine.
She's had a rough time lately, healthwise and emotionally, and every deep breath has been headline news. I hope her fans will understand if it forces her to take a strategic retreat from front stage.
And thus, it would seem the Scud has truly earned his nickname.
Posted by bonwag at 02:12 PM | Comments (2)
October 20, 2004
We're Vikings... What Do You Know.
... and it only required my Dad to go into surgery for us to find out about it.
Let's start at the beginning. I've always had an interest in researching our family tree, and it's mainly been an interesting academic exercise of gathering names and dates and making the appropriate links. Now, though, it seems lineage is an important present-day issue for us Cooks.
Dad's recently been in for treatment for a condition we've learnt is Dupuytren's contracture, a condition which slowly, surely, messes up your hands unless you get it seen to with surgery. It affects the 3rd and 4th fingers, permanently contracting them by affecting the tissue of your palm, so you end up with a sort of half-fist. According to the literature, it most often affects men of Northern English heritage, and points to some Scandinavian blood further back in the line. So, somewhere back there, we were terrors of the sea, it seems.
Dad's already had some surgery over the years to look after it, but this latest visit was a big deal. Speedy recovery, Dad!
Given it's a hereditary thing, I guess me and my brother Steve have to keep an eye out for it, too. I hope it's going to skip a generation or two - it'd certainly cause problems for a keyboard player. However, it seems that I'm hanging onto my hair for a little longer than the old man did, so here's hoping.
Posted by bonwag at 12:01 AM | Comments (0)
October 15, 2004
Welcome To Indiana
Just got a text message that my little sister Sam has given birth to Indiana Rose. My first (non-Robinson) niece!
And I get to gloat as one of the few people who predicted a girl was on the way. Booyah!
Strangely, it's less freaky for me to think that I'm a father than to realise that my sister is a mum, now. That spins me right out.
Congratulations, Sam and Steve/Mum and Dad.
Posted by bonwag at 11:15 PM | Comments (0)
October 01, 2004
Albino Chameleon
With those two words, I get to cross off another of the List Of Things I Gotta Do Before I'm 35: get a credit on amusing.org.
I'm not going to try to explain it. Just go there.
Posted by bonwag at 01:08 AM | Comments (0)
September 30, 2004
Musing on Roofs
Inspired by a family conversation on the way to school this morning:
a cat on a roof
is an elegant proof
that God guides the fortunes of allwere dogs so inclined
we should all be resigned
to the fate of poor puppies to fallit should not be as neat
dogs don't land on their feet
and there's room for just one cat-a-wall
Posted by bonwag at 06:10 PM | Comments (0)
September 29, 2004
I'm a Better Man for the Sins I've Seen
This one's been bugging me for a few days. A programmer responsible for one of the world's more destructive computer viruses has been given a chance to 'rehabilitate' himself by getting a job with a big anti-virus software company.
Presumably, the company had one eye on the benefits of hiring someone 'in the know' to help strengthen their defences, and another on the publicity the hiring would generate.
There's a wider issue here - are the people who commit the crimes the best people to be defending against them? It could be said of any protective organization - police, military, bouncers - that you have to think like a crook to catch a crook. It's important for someone to at least consider the mechanics of commiting a crime in order to build appropriate defenses against that behaviour.
Does it necessarily follow that someone who actually carries out criminal activities is better qualified to defend against them, than someone who has had to consider multiple opportunities and threats for criminal gain and has the self-control and integrity not to pursue them?
I don't buy it. It doesn't follow that just because someone's sinned more that they'll make a better saint.
Remember that, come election day. See the following post.
Posted by bonwag at 11:55 AM | Comments (1)
September 25, 2004
Phenomenal Cosmic Powers. Itty Bitty Living Space.
I've rediscovered some of my respect for Windows (the operating system) today.
I've been tinkering with my first desktop PC trying to squeeze just a little more juice out of it. Having been built in 1995, it's a venerable old bucket o' bolts, but it's still got more computing power than the entire Apollo moon mission. Surely it could be useful for something around the house.
It's been serving the kids well as a games machine for the past few months. However, being a 486 DX2 with a 340MB hard drive and 20M memory, it's not exactly up the task of throwing polygons around the screen like it needs to these days: games have moved on. So, having found a disused laptop with more grunt, I've freed up a little piece of computing power.
I decided that it might be a good test bed for Linux. However, I haven't found a useful Linux distribution which installs in less than 700MB. If anyone knows of one, I'd appreciate the pointer. I've tried a 'live CD' of Knoppix, which magically runs everything off the CD Rom, but even that's too slow.
Now, having installed a fresh Windows 98, I've got it networked and patched, with good performance, with 150MB free to play with. I'll turf the keyboard, mouse and monitor and remotely operate it with good old VNC. I'm thinking it might be a good jukebox for streaming music off Launchcast, or for keeping an eye on network traffic. Any ideas welcome.
I'm a little disappointed I couldn't get Linux on there. I'd assumed it was more lightweight than Windows. But, it seems, when the chips are down, Windows can find its way onto any disk. Nice one, Gatsey.
Posted by bonwag at 11:49 PM | Comments (0)
September 23, 2004
What Would Jesus Post?
It's been said of a lot of situations, but What Would Jesus Do about the internet if his ministry began today? Would he register 'nazarenechippy.com' and set up a weblog, or would he opt instead for personal, face to face contact?
I haven't figured out an answer in my own mind, yet.
Jesus used the technology of his day; like church buildings, boats and public meetings to speak to people where they were. In many cases, they came to him.
On the other hand, Jesus wasn't a prolific journalist - the only record of him writing anything down was when drawing in the sand before a crowd of people ready to punish a Samaritan woman. He left it to others to document his teaching.
The internet is a broad, popular medium, able to reach millions of people. Is it a power Jesus would use or refuse?
Posted by bonwag at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)
She's Coming Along In Leaps and Bounds. Literally.
You have to admit - she's getting better. After a good showing in her previous dance exams, Allanah was determined to do better next time. And, after hard work and practice, she's done it. An 'honours' mark which is upwards of 90 (we don't get an exact figure). We're all pretty impressed around here.
Posted by bonwag at 11:00 PM | Comments (1)
How Many Figures Am I Holding Up?
Check this out. It's a deposit slip from the Commonwealth Bank, which you pick out of the pile when depositing money at the local branch. (Yes, Virginia, there is non-electronic currency.) It takes a little while to fill the form out, but by the time you get to the final figure you're depositing, you're given the capability to describe an eight figure amount in the boxes.
Yes, folks - you can walk in off the street, use the pen on the chain to fill in a deposit slip which is able to handle up to 1 cent shy of one hundred million dollars. There's a website which set out to investigate what 1 million dollars actually looks like, and it's no mean feat to transport that amount of money.
Hey, maybe the banks are making obscene profits and are a bit aloof, but I can't help thinking that maybe they'd consider waiving the need to fill in the little green slip if you walked in the door with an amount of money that huge. On the other hand, maybe you'd need a little more paperwork if you were handing over a cheque with that many numbers.
As I turn around, I see a sign warning people that they need to give notice if they're wanting to withdraw more than 5 thousand dollars, because they don't handle that sort of money in the branch these days.
I think the '8 figures' is probably a theoretical limit. I'd love to be able to test the theory one day, though.
Posted by bonwag at 10:23 PM | Comments (0)
September 20, 2004
Virtual Stars of Stage and Screen
Here's a treat for anyone who's been too scared to try 'Theatre Sports' and doesn't have the voice for Karaoke. Movieoke sounds like a great night out. All you need is the DVD and the subtitle function of your player, and you're away. Perform scenes from your favourite movie for the benefit of family and friends.
If you ever saw the 'Double Take' shows a few years back, where the actors stood at the back of the theatre and re-voiced some of the old classics, you'll know some of the potential.
Now, should anyone actually start this up in Perth, be sure to let me know. There are a few scenes from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' which need my special touch.
Posted by bonwag at 07:12 PM | Comments (1)
It's Time For Some Serious Picking of Nits Over Iraq
I hope Margo Kingston's admonitions for Mark Latham to start sinking the slipper over Iraq get the attention they deserve. As she points out, it's all but official that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and therefore, no explicit reasons to start a war there.
However, I think the clearest point to be made from all of this discussion is this:
"It's time to trumpet Labor's credentials as the party of good judgement in such circumstances whose policy on Iraq has proved spot on."
Posted by bonwag at 01:55 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
September 10, 2004
I Hope You've All Brought Your Bible Reading Software
I'm impressed that one of Microsoft's evangelists has written about his experiences at a full-on Tech Church - Dallas Fellowship. Apart from his observations about the cool technology they use, there are some interesting observations from the marketing bibles about how the church is distinguishing itself in a crowded world of multi-media and technological advancement.
We might not have the money (or inclination) to match what they're doing in our own church, but consider some of the lessons:
"Lesson one: make it easy for everyone to learn about you -- on their terms."
"Lesson two: make it easy to experience your product's special attributes."
"Lesson three: to get word-of-mouth advertising you need to be remarkable."
... and, herewith, gentle reader; proof of Lesson Three.
Posted by bonwag at 11:30 PM | Comments (2)
It's a Conspiracy, I Tells Ya
No sooner has Dad been showered with love and gifts and praised for all his noble traits, (it was Father's Day last weekend in Australia) than someone sees fit to bring him back down to earth:
Dads sleep on as baby cries
Half of fathers either continue to doze or pretend to be asleep when their babies cry during the night, making many mothers resentful, a survey released today shows.
I find the suggestion shocking and appalling. It's an outrage that someone should dare suggest such a thing.
Look at the publishers - "Mother and Baby Magazine". Obviously the mothers are jealous of all the good press. You wouldn't see a 'Half Of All Mothers Can't Kick A Footy To Save Their Life' in May, would you?
Did anyone think that maybe those fathers mistook the noise for something else? Like cats fighting? Or a power tool somewhere? Yeah. A power tool. That's it.
Sssh. Here she comes.
Posted by bonwag at 12:15 AM | Comments (0)
September 06, 2004
It's Bad Enough We Have To Work Together
In a daring move, my work colleagues have seen fit to elect me president of the local social club. It's a brave decision, considering my only experience in getting people to work happily together is by confining them to their rooms until they've had a good long think about their actions.
Luckily, the club also has a treasurer and secretary, so the train at least has some rails. If anyone's got any experience running one of these things, or any tips, or any ideas, I'd appreciate it. At the moment, I think the strategy is to organise just enough events so that people have options, but not so many that we wind up on the front page of the West Australian somehow.
Posted by bonwag at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)
September 02, 2004
Dissecting Elections
With a state, federal and global election looming (well, at least the US thinks it's global) I'm enjoying watching the subtleties of each campaign. Having studied media and communication, it's fascinating to watch the social and psychological games being played out before us (and on us).
In the Australian federal campaign, John Howard has started turning his right shoulder to the TV camera during interviews (to seem cuddlier) and wearing striped ties (to suggest decisive activity). He's stopped turning his palm upwards (to seem more decisive and forceful). He doesn't seem comfortable with it, but he'll get the hang of it after 6 weeks of electioneering.
Mark Latham is going for a more organic approach - which has him constantly checking his language and behaviour - he's not, deep down, a particularly politically correct guy. And if there was ever a time for political correctness, it's now, buddy. Interesting to see what happens when he cracks under the pressure of leading a double life in week four.
As for the issues? The Liberal party got all their 'playing the man, not the ball' messages out before calling the election, so they don't have to worry about running a negative campaign. They're assuming Latham can't resist pulling out the cheap shots, so are hoping that they can keep a nice, clean, tidy moral high ground while Labour squeezes the juice out of whether Howard lied during the last election campaign.
I really, really hope we start seeing some discussion of competing policies, soon.
Posted by bonwag at 11:44 PM | Comments (0)
September 01, 2004
You Have Won 2 T-Shirts In A Radio Competition. Collect Ten Dollars.
I was in a pretty poor mood this morning, so it was good to recieve the news I'd won something in a radio competition. I never enter anything. Much less a competition where the main qualification seems to be brevity. (Just read some of those posts below.)
NewsRadio was asking for a catchphrase to put on some t-shirts to celebrate their 10th anniversary. I came up with 'Now You Know', because it works on a couple of levels.
I'm told I can expect some t-shirts and a diary in the mail. (NewsRadio is part of the government broadcaster, so the prizes aren't as cool as, say, a box at the footy. But I'm not sending it back, no sir.)
Maybe there's something in this whole 'less is more' thing.
Posted by bonwag at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)
August 30, 2004
Only Four More Years To Go
Yes, thanks, Channel 7. I would like my life back, now.
Posted by bonwag at 11:38 PM | Comments (0)
August 25, 2004
Farewell, Nanna 2
Nan's funeral today was a simple, understated service filled with love and warm remembrances of her life. Mum had prepared a eulogy a few months ago, when she felt best able to, and was able to share most of it on her own (with help from my brother Steve and I). I was able to read a beautifully appropriate poem which Mum had found a while ago. I'll have to post it when I get the chance.
Nan's service brought together a lot of folk I'd not expected to see - cousins and relatives came from miles around to say good bye. I did get to see the burial places of some of the people who I'd only known as entries in the family tree. Nan has a spot on the wall where she can 'see' her first husband - Mum'-s dad - Hilton.
I remember Nan as a big part of our lives when we were younger - almost every weekend was spent hanging out at her house in Punchbowl at one stage in the family's life. She was a wonderful carer, a great cook, and a loving Nanna. She's the only person I know who wasn't afraid of using pressure-cookers on the stove.
Given that Nan was the last of my grandparents, I'm glad I was able to introduce her to her great-grandchildren only a few months ago on a family trip to Sydney. I knew back then that I'd probably be kissing her goodbye for the last time as I left the nursing home. Its rare that you get to say a real, proper goodbye to someone in that way. I'm blessed and privileged.
Rest in Peace, Nanna.
Posted by bonwag at 07:28 PM | Comments (1)
August 23, 2004
Farewell, Nanna
I got the news that my grandmother - Nan (Thelma) Williams died while I was in Ayers Rock. She'd been cared for in a nursing home for the past 6 years, and the news of her passing is a bittersweet relief. I'll be flying to the funeral in Sydney this week to be with Mum, Sam and Steve.
Posted by bonwag at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)
Big, Big Rocks
Another early rise today. Ainslie had planned a full day tour to Kings Canyon - a three hour bus tour (a threeee hour tour) to an awesome landscape carved out of the Gill ranges. A three hour walking tour (are you seeing a pattern here?) up a mountain side was 'not advisable for people with heart conditions, pregnancy or any other health complaints.' Sounded scary, but we opted for the long walk.
Some of the photos of this place are posted in the Photo Gallery - it's another unique set of rocks.
Returning late that day, we washed the sand off and went out for a thoroughly amazing dinner.
The next day, we finally get to sleep beyond sunrise. Rising to another perfect day, we go out for breakfast, stop by the photo shop to give our regards to Claire, and head back.
It's been a long, long time since someone's gone to the trouble Ainslie has to spoil me rotten. I think she might have a thing for me.
Posted by bonwag at 08:58 PM | Comments (0)
August 21, 2004
Sunrise at the Rock
The clock was set for 4:50. I thought this was supposed to be a holiday. The problem with a natural attraction like Ayers Rock is that the best time to watch it 'perform' is at sunrise and sunset. Which means you have to be up at Sunrise. So we were.
It's an awesome site to see Ayers Rock silhouetted black against a dawn sky, and to see it silently grow as we approach. The coach pulled up along the side of the road, and we watched the variety of colours grow across the rock as the sun rose behind us. It's an absolutely awesome sight which is difficult to express other than to say that it changes colours. If you haven't seen it, it's hard to believe the range of hues the thing puts out. As a finale, the sunlight leaks out of the rock, flowing over the landscape to our position.
We toured some sites on the base of the rock which feel like churches. There are parts of the rock where you can't help lowering your voice - as the rock folds and soars around you.
The local cultural center talks about the difference between government law - which is written on paper - and aboriginal law - which lives in their hearts. Wouldn't it be interesting if other cultures had that perspective?
Returning to Sails, there's another surprise waiting for me: an hour long massage session later that day. I don't normally get this sort of pampering. When are the treats going to stop?
Ainslie says that we have another tour planned before then - for the Olgas. I did the maths in my head, but probably should have picked up on the hints sooner. How were we going to get to the Olgas and back before the massage session, two hours away?
When Ainslie led me out to the bus, and a helicopter tour bus was ready to pick us up. We were going to *fly* to the Olgas, it seemed. Neither of us had been in a helicopter before, so this was going to be an extra special treat. (Knowing how scared I am of heights, Ainslie says she'd asked me whether I was scared of helicopters a few weeks previously. I said I wouldn't mind a trip, apparently. Sneaky girl.)
Hovering 2 thousand feet above the desert floor, you get a new perspective on how big everything is - how the desert ends sharply at the horizon - how the rock formations have a third dimension beyond what you see from the ground.
I was surprisingly unafraid of the helicopter experience. I kept flashing back to the episode of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo where one of the brothers gets sick while flying the helicopter over Sydney and it's up to Sonny to land the helicopter with help from the Tower. I was actually kind of hoping that it would happen today so I get to play with some of the knobs, but sadly, the pilot had a steady constitution. Darn.
After a long day, a long night and a longer day, we take it easy for a while, watching people winning gold medals at the Olympics.
It's about this time that I start to struggle with the constant nagging of my conscience as to whether I start blogging this experience right then and there, or whether I save up mental notes (and risk losing some of the detail) for the sake of drinking in the experience. I opt for the latter, after some internal greco-roman wrestling. There's a whole discussion on the topic of 'blogging integrity' that I'll continue another time.
I need my sleep. Big day tomorrow. Apparently.
Posted by bonwag at 10:51 PM | Comments (0)
August 20, 2004
A Rock Consort
This was turning out to be a vastly different excursion to the last time I'd visited Ayers Rock back in Year Nine, 1985. Back then, we'd trekked across the vast plains of New South Wales via coach - along the bone-jarring corrugation of the Oodnadatta Track, past Coona-bloody-bara-bloody-bran, up the Stuart Highway to Alice Springs - camping out under the stars and over a variety of uncomfortable dirt surfaces.
Now Ainslie's videoing my confusion in the Qantas Club as we await our 3-hour tour (our 3-hour tour). During the flight, she'll reveal precious few other details. I'm along for the ride.
The weather is picture-perfect at Ayers Rock airport. It's a bit warmer. I encounter the first fly I can remember swatting for many, many months. Ainslie lobs another surprise - telling me to watch for a shuttle bus for the *5-star resort* Sails In The Desert - the accommodation we'd lusted after all those years ago when pitching tents on the red sand of the Ayers Rock campground. The treats haven't stopped coming, yet.
'Sails' is a low-rise oasis in the outback desert with beautifully-kept grounds which are disturbingly green. In fact, the entire landscape is a lot greener than I remember it. There's been some recent rain, it seems, so the entire colour scheme has been updated. The grass really is greener.
Ainslie has planned another treat; the 'Sounds of Silence'. It looks brilliant - an open-air formal dinner which is timed for sunset - so you can drink champagne and watch the colours change on the rock. We dress to the nines and get out to a bus to be taken to the back of nowhere for a few hours.
This is Ainslie's first encounter with The Red Dirt - the bane of any excursion to the outback: it gets into everything. Ever the stylist, she's given me another present; a pink tie which matches her new outfit beautifully, which in turn matches the colours of the desert sands at this hour of the evening. We step off the bus to the sounds of a didgeridoo and the clink of champagne glasses. Amazingly, we have mobile phone services out here - so I call the kids and tell them what I'm doing. The sun goes down, and we're ushered to our tables.
It's no longer possible for me to look at the Olgas the same way since someone pointed out to me on this trip that the formation 'looks like Homer Simpson lying down'. Gaah.
The table we choose has the words 'Reserved' in two places. We sit down and introduce ourselves to our fellow diners - Jenny and John are an older couple, Simon and Priscilla seem about our age, and Claire and Nick claim the 'reserved' seats next to us. They're the star couple tonight - a couple of locals celebrating the first anniversary of their meeting at the Rock, and looking toward a wedding late next year. They're good friends with the wait staff, and have been there before, so they fill us in on the details.
Over the course of the next few hours, it's anything but the sedate, reflective evening the brochures would have us believe. We learnt each other's stories and gasped in horror at the story of a terrible kidnapping in Perth just a few hours earlier. Nick and Claire told of how they'd each picked each other out of the crowd at the local club at roughly the same time. We found out John and Jenny's wedding - almost 50 years ago - had sent Jenny's father to bankruptcy at the time. Priscilla and Simon --- I think Ainslie spoke to them. (Sorry, guys, if you're reading this!)
Part of the evening featured some periods of quiet reflection... which were all but ignored by the crowd that night. When asked to sit and listen to the sound sof the desert, we were treated to a cacophony of burps, farts, belches, wheezes and giggles worthy of a primary school outing. During a presentation of the star formations above us in the sky, in which it was pointed out that the nearest star would take 130 years to get to - travelling at the speed of light, of course - a lone voice rang out an awestruck 'faaaaaark' to the chagrin of the speaker and the amusement of all.
By the time the evening was complete, we were being led in impromptu, alcohol-fuelled choruses of 'Waltzing Matilda' and the Australian National Anthem Which Ends With 'Oi, Oi, Oi'. It had descended from high culture into Australian football-crowd madness, and Ainslie and I were holding our sides in laughter.
A great, unique night out. Go there. Do it.
Posted by bonwag at 08:45 PM | Comments (0)
What's The Opposite of 'Deprivation Of Liberty'?
Ainslie told me we were going for a Birthday Breakfast. She lied.
In fact, she's been lying a lot to me lately. And stealing things from me. And conspiring with others against me. The full extent of her deception wasn't revealed until it was too late to do anything about it. Let me explain.
All I knew was that I'd been told to keep Friday morning free for a special breakfast. I needed to drop the kids off a little early to our nanny's house to make sure we were able to get to the place on time. I dutifully did so. After returning home, while I was getting ready to be at work after breakfast, there came a knock on the door. I was expecting to greet a few friends who I'd been led to believe might have been joining us. Instead, there was a well-turned out gent - with the emblem 'Black Tie Limousines' - waiting. I noticed a white stretch limousine in the driveway. From the tone of Ainslie asking 'who is it?' I knew that I'd been got good.
I probably should have paid more attention to some of the little hints along the way. The fact that my toothbrush had gone missing sometime that morning. The fact that the driver was asking things like where did I think I was going for breakfast. The way he meandered through Fremantle, Cottesloe, Kings Park and Burswood during the drive to feed me a series of red herrings. The way Ainslie kept glancing at her watch.
Until we started heading west on the Great Eastern Highway, I had no idea we were headed for the airport. In fact, I wasn't certain until we turned down the entry road. How could we be going on a plane? I had no bags packed...
The limo driver handed me and Ainslie our bags. The check in lady cleverly hid the luggage tags and boarding passes from me. It was only by asking Ainslie the departure time of our flight that I got my first real clue. Ten-past-ten. Ayers Rock.
"You won't be going to work today. Or Monday. Happy Birthday."
(More to come. In the meantime, the photos are here.)
Posted by bonwag at 10:55 AM | Comments (1)
August 03, 2004
CSI: BONWAG
To test some web analysis software at work today, I used some of the July traffic logs from BONWAG. It's been a while since I last did it, and there's been a few changes since then. It's interesting to get down on the hands and knees every so often and see what sort of mud is being tracked through the front door. For example:
* I discovered that the Funny Bible Verses were linked from the July newsletter of Sunday Software. Thanks, team. Interestingly, the web logs reveal a number of visits from webmail sites, indicating that people are sending the link to friends via email. If that's how you got here, welcome!
*The funnest references are to the 80s page. People are still looking for 'BJ and The Bear' and 'The Dukes Of Hazzard'. There is hope for the world, yet.
* There are some Intranets out there which also link to the List of Useful Things To Say In Latin. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. Hello to the RAAF flyboys.
* The site is being visited by more search engine robots than I can count. Hello to you too.
* Seems people have been also searching the Google Image archives for the picture of Gollum I put on a weblog entry I posted after seeing Lord Of The Rings. If you're looking for it, it's been moved to here.
Weird. But that's what you get when you can't decide what your website is about.
Posted by bonwag at 04:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 02, 2004
Renovation Search and Rescue
I have few (OK, no) skills at doing home renovations. That's why I'm always a bit cagey about talking to my friend Colin, who, whenever I meet him on the weekend, is invariably either adding a new storey onto his house, or helping someone else to erect their own small Taj Mahal. I struggle to justify my own policy of letting the experts do their job well. I weakly point to my wallpapering job on the front foyer. But when I'm honest, I have to admit that I've let other people build, paint, clean and mow for me. Shame.
Fact is, I'd prefer to spend more time modelling our house on the computer in 3D (last weekend), so we can preview some new landscaping for the workers who will actually be getting their hands dirty.
In any case, to restore my self-respect (and my manhood), I sat down at the computer tonight to build a new room on my virtual home here at fairding.com. Without help. Without borrowing from other people's script libraries. Just like the old days, I'll build something from scratch, just to make myself feel better. And I did, in a few hours. I'm feeling pretty chuffed.
I've been planning this addition for a while. I've looked at Rod's blog and thought that the 'What I'm Reading' section is pretty nifty - you know what he's into at the moment, and if you're into the same thing, you have something to talk about. That's what a web page should be about. Not just your past experiences, but what you're into right now.
Now, know that Rod probably manually updates that every so often when he gets a chance. Fact is, with all the web page editing and double-checking and errors, it's a fairly complicated job for what it produces. I thought that there would be scope to make the task a little easier by hooking into amazon.com and just by indicating the reference number, you could have them fill in the blanks, provide a picture, and, if someone trusts my judgement enough, a link to be able to buy it. The task was to assemble a fully-formatted 'flavour of the month' page, with a smaller version for the front page, simply by having a single file to update.
If you look on the main page, and here at 'flavour of the month'; that's the result. The website has a single data file to read, which contains the ID number for the book/film/record, who recommended it, and a few notes about it. Everything else, the picture, the link, and a few other items of information, is supplied by digging into the back-end of amazon.com and yanking it out. (Let me know if you're interested in if for your site.)
In the end, yeah, I'm still relying on someone else doing the leg-work for me, but I've re-established my self-respect. I may not be able to thow a hammer around the place, but I'm handy with moulding chunks of web code.
Posted by bonwag at 12:46 AM | Comments (0)
August 01, 2004
Basking in Someone Else's 15 Minutes
Once again, I don't personally know anyone who made it into the latest round of Australian Idol. I didn't know anyone in the previous series, either, or any of the Big Brothers. I'm not even closely personally familiar with anyone on Blue Heelers, or Home and Away, or Neighbours or any award-winning authors, or sportsmen or any member of a major symphony orchestra.
How long is it going to take before I can say that I know/knew someone famous? At the moment, my only claim to vicarious fame is that I used to sing with Toby and Andrew from Human Nature in high school. Pfeh.
Come on, people. Someone get famous so I can say that I knew you before you were famous.
Or I might just have to do it myself.
Posted by bonwag at 09:02 PM | Comments (0)
July 29, 2004
Questions From The Floor; Yes, You, Sir.
"Questions. Queries. Posers."
Number Five to Steve Guttenberg - 'Short Circuit'.
John asks: Hi, can you please tell me how many brothers and sisters Kenny Kidna has?
Presumably, John's seen the Kenny Fan Page, in which I've lately lost interest. A freeze-frame of the 'Goodnight Kenny' song in Channel 10 Perth tonight reveals the following names: Jenny, Joey, Sammy, Benny, Krissy, Stinky, Lindy, Johnny, Katy, and of, course, Kenny. So that's 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9..... (yyyyawwwwn).
Pat asks: Can you tell me why we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Pat's been thinking too much. And presumably having a hard time getting out of the estate.
Pat also asks: Why does DOT put up signs that say Road Construction ahead when they are usually re-constructing the road?
Where I live, at the moment, the DOT is actually spending most of its time in road destruction. I like the signs which say 'Slow Men Working' 'cos you know its true.
Pat persists: Why doesn't soap get less soapy as the bar gets smaller?
Presumably, if soap were to lose its soapiness in proportion to its size, you would be left with an infinitely soapy bar. Let me explain. Let's assume that at the time of purchase, a bar of soap is at full size and full strength. When the soap is decreased to half its size, its soapiness is also decreased to half. The rate of decay of the soap is also halved, seeing as it is only giving off half its lather that that point. So, it will take twice as long for the bar of soap to be reduced by another half. Each shower not only decreases the bar, but also decreases its rate of de-saponification, and increases the amount of time it takes to halve the size again, so that you never get to the point where the soap is exhausted. Granted, by that time, the soap is about as cleansing as a cornflake, but you asked the question, Pat. I hope you can live with the truth.
Posted by bonwag at 11:53 PM | Comments (0)
July 21, 2004
Okay, Class: Wiggum: Compare and Contrast
More fuel to the 'Simpsons vs. Shakespeare' debate. I love the quote here:
"The only thing that's keeping them from being a piece of art like 'Don Quixote' or 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' is a couple hundred years".
Posted by bonwag at 01:13 PM | Comments (1)
Hey, what's with the Elephant?
A lot of people I've met in the Real World lately have been asking me what the significance of the elephant is on BONWAG.
Elephant? Huh? I looked everywhere for an elephant. There's no elephant. Then, I looked at good old 'bonwag.com'.
For many years, it's been languishing as a 'site under construction' because someone had registered the name in the early 90s, shortly after I set up BONWAG on 'fairding.com'. (I thought 'fairding.com' was a more interesting domain to have, and didn't bother registering 'bonwag.com' back then. Maybe I should have. I registered the domain 'sothere.com' at the same time, but that ended up being an excellent way to collect spam.)
I've been keeping an eye on the domain every couple of years, waiting for the registration to lapse so I can retrieve it, but the owner kept hold of it. Until recently, that is. There's now a music site on 'bonwag.com', with a big ole elephant on the main page (With its trunk pointing upwards - that's lucky, you know). Actually, technically, it's a mammoth.
So, I guess 'bonwag.com' is lost to me, for the next few years, anyway. If you see more 'branding' around the site for 'fairding.com', that's why. I think people have to start remembering 'fairding.com' rather than 'bonwag'.
Looks like this is my second Great Internet Disappointment. (The first being a missed opportunity to join the team at 'soulmates.com.au' on day one, which then went on to make millions. D'oh!)
So, welcome to FAIRDING.COM (home of BONWAG)
Posted by bonwag at 12:59 PM | Comments (1)
June 21, 2004
Exam Time!
While Ainslie's been under the microscope with Law exams this week, Caleb's been inspired to compose some questions of his own. If you think you know Harry Potter as well as he does, try taking his Quiz.
Posted by bonwag at 08:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 20, 2004
I Love Her Far Horizons
I've started a new page, after finding a bit of work lying around the computer during a cleanup. In case anyone is interested, here's where I've travelled the last few years. If anyone lives in any of those places, maybe it's comforting to know you've been visited by me at some point. Conversely, perhaps it would help explain the strange fluctuations in housing prices in your area at about that time.
Posted by bonwag at 10:54 PM | Comments (0)
June 18, 2004
Have You Had Your 2 And 5 Today?
It's a strange old world we live in. People start getting it into their heads to sue McDonald's because they're getting fat, and even start filming documentaries about it. McDonald's, already in full swing with their 'health kick' as they fork over salads and 'healthy breakfasts', fire off a round of ads preaching the gospel of moderation.
Now, it seems that we've been wrong about French Fries all this time. Turns out they're fresh vegetables, because of the way they're rolled in starch, fried and frozen. Turns out that the whole point is to make them safe for storage, not (as we originally thought) to make them yummy. At least, that's what the Frozen Potato Products Institute has told the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Seems I can look the WA Health Department in the eye when they send their '2 and 5' inspectors around to my house and solemnly affirm I've had at least one veggie today.
And, taking it to the next level, as suggested in the article, my Cherry Ripe counts as fruit.
What a great time in our history to be alive.
Posted by bonwag at 12:27 AM | Comments (0)
June 17, 2004
Another Day, Another 'Day'
Just when you thought we'd exhausted the various 'days' for raising money for charity (Red Noses, Jeans for Genes, Daffodil Day, etc, etc...). Good old Wallace and Gromit come up with a new one - Wallace is a mad keen inventor, after all.
It's a shame 'Wrong Trousers Day' is only being celebrated in the UK. Nonetheless, be on the look out for poor trouser fashion choices come July 2. Be sure to point and shout proudly "It's The Wrong Trousers!"
Posted by bonwag at 07:18 PM | Comments (1)
June 13, 2004
For The Full Wide-Screen Experience, Try This
When life deals you broken eggs, you rustle up an omlette.
When Dan encountered a stuff-up at the local bakery in his shopping bag, he did the only sensible thing. I'd never considered slicing a loaf lengthways before, but having seen the glory and majesty of this particular culinary effort, I think he might be onto something. I'm off to ask the baker for a lengthways-sliced loaf of my own, I think.
Posted by bonwag at 10:10 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2004
Give Me A Sense Of Purpose; A Real Sense Of Purpose
I don't know what I was thinking.
A few posts back, I complained that the Links section was too much of an administrative overhead, so I wouldn't be resurrecting it in this incarnation of BONWAG. It shows what mental disarray I was in at the time. What? Abandon the Links Section? (cough)
Back in November 1994, I set up BONWAG as a way of keeping track of the other interesting websites I came across, in case anyone else was interested. Hence the name - Bits Of Net What Are Good. Over time, the links list has been flooded and pruned, lost and rebuilt, and flavoured with a variety of management scripts behind it, but it's always been the main reason I set the site up in the first place.
How can you have a site with a name like BONWAG and not point to the bits of net what are good? Without the links, it's just an overblown weblog.
With that revelation, and without further ado, I've rebuilt the links section with a couple of scraps of backup I found around the place and a few wads of chewing gum.
Posted by bonwag at 11:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 08, 2004
We Will Rebuild It. We Have The Technology.
Another win today. I found the BONWAG weblog entries between January 29 and April 26 this year lurking in various places in the cache behind Yahoo.
Looking through all the search engines for a few keywords I knew I'd written down at some point in the past, I was able to find various weblog entries and just restore them to BONWAG with good old cut and paste. (I had tried looking through Google's cache, but unfortunately, they're too efficient over there and had already updated their site with the latest, sad looking version of BONWAG. I also tried archive.org, which would have been perfect, but for the fact they stopped indexing BONWAG last year. Scum!)
So, the upshot is that there's a few days missing after I took the backup in January and before Yahoo indexed it, but I think that was the week I was madly catching up on the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy on DVD and what little I wrote probably made little sense, anyway. And there's only a few entries missing from May - I was busy mourning the loss of the site and working in the US then, anyway.
Well, what do you know: this Internet thing IS a self-healing system.
As I said, I'm treating this as a chance to clean up the site... let me know what you think of the new look/content. I think I've recovered as much of the old BONWAG as I'm able or inclined to.
Time to move on.
Posted by bonwag at 02:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 07, 2004
Booyah
I've just found a file called 'blogbackup.txt' on my computer, dated January 22, 2004. I can't remember putting it there. I'm very happy now.
Posted by bonwag at 01:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
It's Life, But Not As We Know It
I've finally trawled through what's left of BONWAG following the Great Purging of 2004, and there's some hope.
The bad news is that the latest backup I have of the weblog entries is September 2003. It's ironic that the backup was made by a piece of software I bitched and moaned about soon afterwards because it deleted parts of the site on its own. Strange that Dreamweaver should come to my rescue. I'll restore the weblog entries (stretching back to 1998) when I feel inspired.
I'll also make the site a little more easy to handle. No-one was really getting into the Message Board that much - it's gone. The Links section, as large as it was, was only an administrative nightmare I could probably do without anyway. There are a few other sections I've deleted which you probably won't miss. I'm going to keep the site simple: a weblog, a photo album, and a bunch of features, articles and toys which I get inspired to write every so often.
Hope you like the new BONWAG.
Yes, I'm going to switch on the backup program..... now.
Posted by bonwag at 10:24 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 05, 2004
Movie Monologue
Seen on the Subiaco Ace cinema 'now showing' billboards today - in this order: 'Raising Helen' 'The Day After Tomorrow' 'Troy'.
I can't be sure it wasn't a happy accident.
Posted by bonwag at 11:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 17, 2004
Yeah, I'm Mad
I'm more than a little miffed at my ISP for deleting BONWAG, without keeping the backups they told me they were taking. I've considered turning this into a hate site for them, but there are far more constructive ways of spending my time.
Anyway, most of the site isn't working at the moment. I've got the weblog and Photo Albums up and running, seeing as the big Las Vegas trip is on shortly. I'll have to rebuild everything when I get back.
Maybe I can treat it as something positive, and think of it as a spring clean after collecting nearly 10 years of loose code.
Posted by bonwag at 09:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 26, 2004
Virtually Back On Air
I was newly introduced to an old Internet service last night. I'd never found Internet radio to be all that interesting in the past, especially over a 56K connection, but now that broadband is on the way, I thought I should check this out.
Launchcast allows you to set up your own Internet radio station, based on your preferences. The best thing is that you don't necessarily specify each and every song, you just give it a rough idea of what you're into, and it uses the recommendations of other people like you to suggest some other stuff you might be into. Already I've found 3 songs today which warrant further investigation. It's like having direct access to your own program manager. You can also let the system know as you go whether each song is any good, and that will further refine your future listening.
It's one of these services which has been around for a while, but I've only just caught on.
If you're interested, you can listen to my station, and my particular/peculiar tastes right here. Let me know if you've got your own, too!
Posted by bonwag at 02:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 13, 2004
Ten Years Down The Track
It's been remiss of me not to post an update following our anniversary ball last week. Yes, it's been ten years already, and it was a privilege to be able to celebrate it with our friends just a few blocks down from when we were married in Fremantle back in 1994.
Special thanks to the band - Huxley's - and the DJs - kronic krew - who kept the dance floor filled for the night. Also to Peta Zeller and Caleb, who kept taking photos when David and Ainslie forgot. And to my mum - Nola - who represented the entire eastern seaboard. We hope everyone had a great time, and I'll be posting some photos once I get the time to figure out some of the technology.
Posted by bonwag at 01:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 17, 2004
A Profitic Word
I found it again! 'The Profit' is a great example of a parody which stands well on its own feet, but adds an extra dimension once you've read the source material. I was quite sad to see a copy of this go offline a while back, but I've found another copy of 'The Profit' - by Kehlog Albran. You might need to read 'The Prophet' on which it is based, in order to get the whole joke, but read on regardless. It's fantastic. Don't read while drinking milk.
A wizened priest inquired,
Is man eternal, as a mountain?
He replied:
No individual lasts forever, yet man has lasted until now.
An individual may live six score, yet mankind has lived for a thousand score or more.
Therefore I must answer:
Think not of man as a mountain, which is ageless, and never changing.
But think of man as a mountain of changes and variations.
Think of man as a temporary mountain.
Posted by bonwag at 01:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 05, 2004
I, For One, Welcome Our Obsessed Overlords
Here's another example of a brilliant exploration of a valuable area of scientific thought driven by a reference to The Simpsons. Ainslie recently gave a lecture to students highlighting the occurrences of high math in Futurama.
Is it just me, or are today's scientists getting more and more willing to use comic references as a hook into their academic research? Or has it always been this weird? For example, there's a whole set of math problems based 'On the problem of sorting burnt pancakes.
I'm not complaining, mind you - I'm all for making this sort of highfalutin thinking more accessible. But is this a new phenomenon, or has it been around for a lot longer? What's the weirdest scientific premise you've come across?
Posted by bonwag at 01:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 03, 2004
Grouchy About Oscar
Oh, for Pete's sake.
The Australian entertainment media went into conniptions hyping Nicole Kidman for the 2004 Oscars, but finally had to take solace in Naomi Watt's nomination, and a few scant nods for ex-pat tech folk. Bummer, the journalists thought. Many started feeling a little worried that there were no really big Australian names at the ceremony so they could justify an expensive Hollywood junket to their editors. ( Naomi Watts has only a moderate glamour-rating, which will undoubtedly have to be lifted several levels in coming weeks, to keep the party-machine running. Watch Nicole deposed from Australian entertainment royalty for the next year or so, folks.)
Now, the local hacks have found another hook - they've latched onto an admission by the father of Keisha Castle-Hughes - formerly a 'Kiwi nominee' - that she's actually, technically, a Western Australian.
(No doubt it was hard for her to uproot herself from all her social connections in Donnybrook at the age of four. In that time, she undoubtedly developed a 'love for the land' and 'strongly identifies with her Australian heritage'.)
I predict a slew of interviews and background pieces throughout the Aussie media, now that this story is out. I'd wager that Ray Martin will lead the charge with a special on 'Australia's Best Hope For The Best Actress Oscars'. Naomi might get a mention. Maybe their non-Australian films might cop a mention.
Boy - it's bad enough that we (as a country) invest so much of our arts identitiy in the allure of the Hollywood Oscar Machine, but to start clawing back tenuous links like this is really, really sad. Keisha, as talented as she is, would not have rated a mention were Nicole to have made the list, and especially if she hadn't been outed as an Aussie by her publicity-seeking daddy.
No 'Australian' films like Star Wars or The Matrix in the list, either - no wonder the entertainment journalists are bored/desparate. At least we don't have to worry about being tempted to claim Russell Crowe back.
Posted by bonwag at 01:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Hubble Toil and Trouble
While we've been distracted by Mars, NASA's decided that the Hubble Space Telescope is no longer a top priority, and for a variety of (probably sensible) reasons, it's not going to be getting the upgrades it needs. Be that as it may, unless someone does something with it, we're looking at the next Skylab in 2015, and there's no reassurances that someone's not going to get squashed by it once it crashes back to earth. Given that we see it pass overhead our house some nights, I'm thinking we should probably be breaking it into bite-sized chunks.
Mmmm. Space Junk Food.
Posted by bonwag at 01:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 02, 2004
I Find Life Is Easier The Lower I Keep Everyone's Expectations
It's an axiom I often share with those who care to listen. Borrowed from Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes), it's simply saying that if you do too good a job, people start expecting that from you all the time.
So, continuing the theme of 'art within tight boundaries', here's a great example - not only of the danger of setting a goal too high, but also of extending the envelope so far that people start to doubt if it's the genuine article. This guy has been perfecting 'etch-a-sketch art 'for many years, and has (allegedly) been getting accolades about the quality of his work. I'd like to think that some of these works were examples of real, intensive, knob-twiddling effort, but take a look - they're just too darn good. Perfect, almost.
Hoax or Hero? I have my opinion.
Posted by bonwag at 02:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack